While growing up, Parents are in general huge strengths of kids. They offer security and help the child navigate through some of the toughest corners of life. We often hear about mothers’ love and sacrifice. Usually, dads prefer to be on the sidelines, cheering the kids’ success; like a coach of a winning team. They influence the game but are nowhere to be seen when the team is lifting a tournament trophy.
Is there anything a dad won’t do for his kid?
Maybe the most redundant question. But what if the child is disabled? This is where things get interesting. While there are a good number of cases where dads abandon their handicapped children, there are few who choose to broaden the scope of what they can do for their kids. A father of a normal kid would provide security; the father of a handicapped child has to stand tall with his kid. While a normal father gets his son to the school, a father of a handicapped child fights the school to get his kid admitted.
Below is a video that made me realize the grit of a father. Look how confident the father speaks about the child. Not once did you feel he would have ever asked, why me?
https://www.facebook.com/IRONMANWorldChampionship/videos/616847829195593/
If you notice the video carefully, the father is always behind the child or the father has always ensured that the child is ahead of him. In cycling events, he has ensured that the kid is ahead as well, and in the running events, he has ensured that the kid’s wheelchair is ahead of him. The kid crosses the finish line first before the father. But for the kid, he might not understand the efforts his father is taking to push him from behind.
This also reminds me of an old interview with Mr. Arun Shourie, an Indian economist, journalist, author, and politician. He has a child with a brain injury and a wife who also needs to be tended to. He always calls himself a servant in chief rather than the head of a family. He mentioned that when a god gives you a kid, that is a blessing but when he gives you a special kid, that means God trusts you more than others. Mr. Shourie carefully calls the so-called abnormal kid a special kid, not disabled or differently-abled but a special kid. He went on to explain this by saying that God gives you this kid as he trusts you are capable of taking care of this child. We, the so-called normal people misunderstand his grand schemes and look at it as a burden.
He beautifully explains that as parents of a special child, the most important characteristic is to have an attitude of service. His famous line that always stuck with me was, if you want to truly be selfish then you must help someone who can’t return the favor for you.
This makes me reflect on my life journey. While my mother made me ready to face the world, my father was always there to rescue me from the trickiest situations of life. He was a strict man, a man of discipline. Most of the time, we hardly spoke beyond the courtesies. He supported all the decisions my mother made. While my mother put in all the hard work in physical form, I imagine my father must have been in a difficult situation too. Despite having financial troubles, he never said no to any of my education costs. I later understood that he even dropped his dream of a bigger house so that we could afford my engineering education cost.
“I guess that’s how my father must have been. His efforts were invisible but he ensured I crossed the finish line.”
Here is the interview with Mr. Shourie, which can open your eyes to a lot of things.