I am not sure if I was awake or asleep. I am not sure…
What I do know is that I was with her. Someone I longed for. Someone I have been waiting for.
It was her.
That night I still remember as if it was yesterday.
On that night, when I turned sideways on my bed, my hand found something that it wasn’t expecting. Someone was beside me, sleeping. Though it was not expected, the touch didn’t feel unfamiliar.
With squinted eyes, I saw her lying sideways. I didn’t see her face as it was on the other side but I felt comforted by her presence; it was as if I knew her …for ages.
Despite my best efforts, the sleep was dragging me. With my blurred vision in the barely lit room, I could make out that she wore a purple-colored wrinkled shirt and nothing else. During sleep, her wrinkled shirt had moved up only covering half of her upper body, exposing her waist. I could see the outline of her luscious curve and everything else.
I touched her bare skin on the hip for a moment before taking the blanket and covering her to her shoulder. I lost control and fell deep back into sleep. She snuggled under the warmth of the blanket.
Under the blanket, my hand rested on her waist, feeling her soft body. This time she responded to my touch as I felt her pull my hand towards her stomach, intertwining our fingers, swiftly sliding close to me, spooning. Her smell strangely felt intoxicating. I felt her navel and firmly pulled her body towards mine, strongly as if to remove any air between our bodies. For a second or so I held her so firmly that my chest and her back were almost one. As I held her, intuitively I planted a gentle kiss on her neck. I heard her giggle indistinctly. My hug was still tight and she didn’t mind.
I am not sure how many moments passed. My grip on her loosened.
After a while, I heard a soft noise of her wrestling under the blanket so she could turn, towards me.
I was still swimming in between wakefulness and sleep but I clearly remember the warmth of her breath on to my neck. Soon after, I strongly felt her lips as they were placed on mine. I caressed her lips with my tongue as she moved to hug me.
With one swift move, she pushed me down, flat on the back, and came on top of me. I could feel her on my chest. When our lips parted, she lay on my bare chest, her silky hair scattered on my face. I heard her giggle again. Her face rested on my shoulder. She had taken her hands out of my back, and held my hands down, near my body.
I still remember her laugh as she gently inserted her teeth into my right earlobe. I tried opening my eyes to see this mischievous beauty but before I could catch any glimpse of her, she took her right hand and placed it over my eyes. Her legs spread across my waist and her knees caught my hands on the back of my palms. I understood her urge to play so I didn’t move further. I wanted her to play with me. She moved down, gently biting on my neck, then onto the left side of my chest. I groaned a bit, as she bit my bare chest.
“see how it hurts !!” She whispered and let out a giggle. I never had heard that tender voice, but strangely it was soothing. That feeling closely could be described as déjà vu but by no means entirely.
She was moving down nibbling and kissing at her will. Her hair had also moved down, now covering my chest. “no peeking ok?” She said as she took her hand away from my eyes. Only to shove my hands below my back, freeing her knees, so she could sit straight up on my waist.
A motionless moment followed.
I could sense she gently placed a cloth over my face to obscure my vision. I guessed it was her shirt, her purple shirt because when she bent down to nibble on my nipples, I am sure I felt her bare breasts.
With the help of her knees, she lifted herself a bit from my waist, as she felt something throbbing her. I felt with one hand she pulled down my boxers to free my member. She adjusted herself as the hard member was throbbing against her bare skin, right between her thighs; teasing her, making its presence felt to her.
I heard her let out a soft moan. It ignited a fire in me. I wanted to push her down, unite our bodies to quench the thirst but…
She fell on my chest.
I could again feel her bare breasts and scattered hair.
She whispered in my ear,
“Shhh! Not now, not like this. Come find me out there, where I am waiting for you.”
And suddenly I felt she move away, away from my body and away from the bed.
I opened my eyes, wide awake, searching for her I freed my hands from my back and got up to hold her, asking her to wait.
But she wasn’t there.
The shirt I felt in my eyes wasn’t there.
I sat up, grasping my breath.
Was it real or a dream? I am not sure. If I was awake or asleep. I am not sure.
Years after this experience, I found an explanation in an old book. It said-
There is a factory where souls are created of a divine fabric. Sometimes when two souls are cut of the same fabric, a thread is broken beyond repair, and cannot be stitched with anything. These souls live their lives in longing for each other. Nothing can heal them until they find the other end of that broken thread, in another soul cut from the same fabric.